5 Texts To Send Your Ex After No Contact If You Want To Be Friends (2023)

Going “no contact” after a breakup can be one of the best ways to heal from heartbreak, but also one of the most painful. You go from talking to your partner every day to zero communication, all in an effort to sit in your feelings and accept your new reality: Your relationship is over. It can be incredibly tough to go no contact, whether you decide to do it for a week or a year. But when you finally feel ready to establish a friendship, you might be faced with another challenge: deciding what to text your ex after no contact. Knowing how to text your ex in any situation is a slippery slope, but texts to send your ex after no contact should be more cautious than any other random, “Hey!”

Before you start typing away, consider whether texting them is even a good idea in the first place. Ask yourself: How did the relationship end? Some breakups are so brutal, you can never really come back from them. And since time has a way of making bad memories fade, you might want to think carefully about reaching out. “As human beings, we're heavily wired to connect to others. Therefore, we may start to look back on the relationship with rose-tinted spectacles,” Rachel Wall, a wellness coach and narcissistic abuse recovery expert, previously told Elite Daily. “We may become overwhelmed with our minds giving us reasons as to why we should reconnect with the ex. This can be particularly dangerous if reconnecting with an abuser or someone who's particularly jealous or controlling." So if your relationship was toxic or you’re just generally way better off without your ex in your life, you do not need to be friends.

Also, consider time. How long has it been since you called it quits? If it’s only been a couple of weeks, it might feel like too soon to reach out. But a few months might feel like enough time for all the hard feelings — and any residual longing— to fade so that a platonic relationship can be more realistic.

(Video) Three Texts to Send After No Contact

Ultimately, it's all about where you are emotionally, as Chris Armstrong, founder of the relationship coaching company Maze of Love, previously told Elite Daily. “I would never recommend putting time parameters on when to re-engage contact. Instead, re-engage contact when you feel safe from potential regress that may occur because you've not fully healed. Or when you feel safe from harassment that your ex may engage in because they're not fully healed,” he advised.

Last but not least, ask yourself: How much did I actually like them in the first place? Not how much you were attracted to them or infatuated with them, but how much did you legitimately enjoy their company? Has their absence left a friendship void in your life? Make sure they're worth any emotional work that might come with getting back in communication.

Once you've thought all this through and your texting fingers are itching to get typing (after all, the sooner you hit send, the sooner your friendship can commence), it’s time to decide what to text your ex. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

1. Remind Them Of A Good Memory

(Video) What to Text Your Ex After No Contact!

Even though your last interaction was likely not great, there were probably plenty of good times in your relationship. When considering what to text your ex, think of a memory — something nice, funny, or sweet you think they may actually get a kick out of remembering. Nothing romantic, or you may risk sending mixed signals, but something that might put a smile on their face. Hopefully, that will soften them up enough to consider your offer of friendship.

2. Take Their Temperature

If you’ve spent the time since you ended things totally incommunicado, you probably have no idea how to text your ex or where they are emotionally over the breakup. They could be totally cool and ready to move on, or still salty AF. In this case, you may just want to dip a toe in the water and take their temperature, which might be a little scary since you're going in blind, but it’s the only real way to know where they stand. Just keep it light and don’t take it personally if they’re not ready. If you’re determined to turn your ex into your BFF, check in periodically — but not too regularly. You need to respect their boundaries, and if they don’t want to be your friend, there’s not much you can legitimately do about that.

3. Let Them Know You’re Thinking Of Them

(Video) The ONE Text Message To Send After Begging and Pleading Your Ex...

Do you ever wonder if your ex still thinks of you? No one would blame you. Even if you don’t want to get back together with them, you may not necessarily want them to forget you exist, either. That’s why this approach is warm and reassuring. You’ve both gone about your life, but this lets them know they're still in your thoughts. Just keep your message super friendly and platonic so they don’t misunderstand your intentions.

4. Send Them Something Funny

Are you always seeing memes, pics, or stories you know they’d find hilarious? Well, if you’re thinking about trying to be friends again, send something funny their way. If you can open with a laugh, you might increase the chances they'll be open to having you back in their life. It’s a reminder that you two did have fun together, and who couldn’t use a few more laughs?

5. Don’t Be A Weirdo

(Video) How To Reconnect With Your Ex After No Contact

Just want to cut to the chase? That’s OK, too; just don’t be weird about it. Keep the tone light and friendly, like you would with anyone you don't want to see naked any time soon. If you feel like there may be lingering hard feelings, apologize — but don’t make it a big deal. Take it super easy-breezy.

Putting yourself out there is scary, but you might just be rewarded for your vulnerability. Worst case scenario: They leave you on-read and you move on with your life. But if the best case scenario leaves you with a lifelong friend, reaching out will be well worth it.


Chris Armstrong, founder of the relationship coaching company Maze of Love

(Video) Texts To Send After No Response

Rachel Wall, a wellness coach and narcissistic abuse recovery expert

This article was originally published on


What do you text your ex after not talking for a while? ›

Here are six simple, direct, and casual ways to start a conversation.
  • “Hey [ex's name], I was just thinking about you. ...
  • “Hi [ex's name], I've been doing some thinking and I really regret how things between us ended. ...
  • “Hey, just wanted to say congrats on your new job! ...
  • “Hey [ex's name], it's been a while. ...
  • “Hey!
Mar 19, 2018

How do I reconnect with my ex as a friend? ›

6 (Non-Awkward) Ways to Reconnect With an Old Friend
  1. Engage on social media. ...
  2. Send a quick text. ...
  3. Get together with mutual friends. ...
  4. Work through conflict. ...
  5. Share memories. ...
  6. Ask if they want to get together.
Jun 13, 2022

How can I be friends with my ex without catching feelings again? ›

How To Be Friends With Your Ex Without Catching Feelings
  1. Step One: Cry your eyeballs out. When two people enter a relationship, there are dreams built that are exclusive to the both of you. ...
  2. Step Two: Consider how bad the break up was. ...
  3. Step Three: Ask for friendship without intimacy. ...
  4. Step Four: Clearly define the rules.
Aug 16, 2018

Should I message ex to be friends? ›

Once you've ended things, it's better to wait a few days before reaching out with your platonic olive branch. Giving your ex some time to come to terms with the state of your relationship shows that you respect their needs and feelings.

Is it okay to reach out to an ex to be friends? ›

A friendship with an ex can be highly rewarding, but it's more than OK not to have a relationship or be in contact with them. Accepting the transience of connection and moving forward on your own path will give you much more peace than holding onto a past flame when there is no longer alignment.

What to text someone when you want to be friends? ›

Here Are 15 Chill Rejection Texts To Send If You Just Wanna Be Friends
  1. Hi! ...
  2. Hey, just wanted to follow up about our date. ...
  3. Last night was great, but I'm not interested in you romantically. ...
  4. I'm flattered and happy you had a good time last night, but I'm not interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with you.
Jun 25, 2019

How do you make your ex have feeling for you again? ›

So here's what you have to do:
  1. Don't contact your ex. your ex would think he/she is the best person for you. ...
  2. Don't post negativity on social media. ...
  3. Don't hurt yourself. ...
  4. Don't just get into relationships easily. ...
  5. Go out with friends and meet new people. ...
  6. Start doing something that's been on the Back burner. ...
  7. Take pictures.

How do you make your ex feel you again? ›

Things You Should Know

Snag your ex's eye by reaching back out, spending time together, reminding them of happy memories, and acting casual and confident. Finally, discuss getting back together. Talk about what went wrong in the past and let your ex know that you're willing to work to be a better partner.

How do you slowly reconnect with your ex? ›

Back with Your Ex? 10 Tips for Taking It Slow and Getting a Fresh Start
  1. Treat the relationship like it's new.
  2. Set some healthy relationship boundaries.
  3. Space out your dates.
  4. Pursue your personal goals and interests.
  5. Set a timeline for being intimate so you aren't rushing.
  6. Get to know each other again.

What silence does to an ex? ›

There is no easy way to deal with a breakup, but remaining silent actually speaks volumes to your ex. After all, actions speak louder than words! By staying silent, you're telling your ex that you're strong, resilient, and independent. You're relying on yourself — and no one else — for your own happiness.

How can you make your ex miss you without talking? ›

The key to making an ex miss you without talking to him is… not trying too hard. All you really need to do is enact a no-contact rule and let the backwards law do its thing. You should focus on growing yourself as a person and that will give you the best chance of making your ex miss you.

Is it OK not to respond to a text from an ex? ›

It is definitely OK not to respond to an ex. In fact, in many circumstances, you might find that it's best you don't respond, especially if it was a toxic relationship.

How do you tell an ex you want to be friends again? ›

Tell him directly that you want to be friends.

Simply say, "I hope we can still be friends" or ask the question "We're still friends, right?" Don't leave this issue unaddressed - if you're vague about what you want from your new relationship, he might think you're trying to get back together with him.

Can exes be friends without feelings? ›

Being friends with a former partner is something many of us neither want or feel is possible, but with the right communication it can work. These include: civility; unresolved romantic desires; practicality (eg working together, going to school together or sharing mutual friends) and security.

Can you be friends with someone you have feelings for? ›

Staying friends with someone after developing real romantic feelings for them can be hard. However, many people have successfully remained friends after unrequited love confessions. Although it's common for two people not to be able to get past potential awkwardness, it can still be possible for some.

How can I be friends with my ex without hurting me? ›

“This isn't us breaking up, continued.” When preparing to foster the new relationship, it's important to go in with a plan.
  1. Before friendship, take a break. ...
  2. Take time to process old wounds. ...
  3. Make your new partner the priority. ...
  4. Don't shut out close friends. ...
  5. It's okay to let go, too.
Sep 14, 2022

How long should you be friends with an ex before getting back together? ›

Ideally, you would wait six to 12 months after a breakup before even asking yourself that question. And if there ever was any abuse in the relationship, don't ask it at all — focus on getting distance and moving on. After any breakup, you want to ensure that you put your well-being first.

How to be friends with an ex who hurt you? ›

5 Rules Of Being Friends With Your Ex So No One Ends Up Getting...
  1. Flirting Is Off Limits.
  2. Respect Their Space.
  3. Set Emotional Boundaries.
  4. Dont Bring Up The Past.
  5. Put A New Label To Your Relationship.
Jul 7, 2021

What is the best message for ex? ›

I'm not over it and I'm not ready to be friends.” “I wish you the best, but I don't think we should be in contact.” “This will be the last text I send you, please respect this boundary.” “Separation is what I need right now, so I'm not going to talk to you anymore.

Does my ex want me back or just wants to be friends? ›

If your ex acts like they are still interested in being with you, then this may be a sign that they want more than just friendship from you. Another clue is how much time your ex spends with you. If they spend more time than usual, then this may also be a sign that they want to get back together.

Should you tell your ex how much they hurt you? ›

Reaching out to apologize to an ex for your hurtful actions can be really meaningful to them, as long as it's about making them feel validated and not just about clearing your own conscience. Sometimes it can also be helpful to let your ex know the ways they've hurt you.

Is it better to stay friends with an ex if you want them back? ›

It's something that you should smile about and take encouragement from if you are wanting to get back together with them. However, it is still important that you politely reject friendship. Don't be cold or mean, but express your lack of interest in being friends and go straight into no contact.

Does my ex miss me even though we don't talk? ›

Yes, an ex misses you during No Contact. They miss you because they no longer have what they used to have. Your ex misses you even though you don't talk because they have time to adjust to your absence. This will help them reflect and miss you more.

How do you know when your ex is truly done with you? ›

Today we will go through 13 signs that show your ex is truly done with you.
  • Your Exes Rebound Is No Longer A Rebound.
  • They Never Unblock You.
  • It's Been Months And All Of Your Pictures Together Are Still Up.
  • You Can Tell They Are Just Responding To Be Nice To You.
Sep 10, 2021

How do you say you just want to be friends? ›

So if you don't know how to tell let someone down easy, here is how to tell someone you just want to be friends.
  1. Don't Circle Around the Rejection. ...
  2. Try to be Straightforward. ...
  3. Don't Let Their Emotions Change Your Decision. ...
  4. Don't Lie About Your Feelings. ...
  5. Don't feel guilty.
Jan 30, 2020

How do you start a conversation with someone you just want to be friends? ›

To start a conversation with a new friend, begin by saying hello and introducing yourself. Next, ask them general questions, such as what they do for fun or how they spend their time. Try to avoid topics that might make them uncomfortable, like sharing political beliefs or personal information.

How do you make your ex jealous and come back to you? ›

How to Make Your Ex Jealous
  1. Post attractive pictures of yourself online.
  2. Stop all contact with your ex.
  3. Post amazing updates about your life.
  4. Hang out with a group.
  5. Be nice if you can't avoid your ex.
  6. Act like you're totally fine.
  7. Look your best.
  8. Get active to help you move on.

How do I make my ex think about me constantly? ›

Here's what they had to say.
  1. Use A No Contact Rule.
  2. Adopt A Holy Trinity Social Media Strategy.
  3. Implement The Zeigarnik Effect.
  4. Go On Dates With Other People.
  5. Show Them They Aren't The Center Of Your World Anymore.
  6. Infiltrate Their Sphere Of Influence.
  7. Empathize With Them Through Attachment Styles.
Oct 14, 2021

How can I make my ex miss me and regret? ›

Here are 11 tried-and-tested ways to make your ex regret losing you
  1. Limit contact with your ex, but stay in sight. ...
  2. Don't be the backup plan. ...
  3. Become a better version of yourself. ...
  4. Make them think you're over them. ...
  5. Keep calm and move on. ...
  6. Get successful. ...
  7. Expand your social circle. ...
  8. Evoke a little jealousy.
May 13, 2022

How do you make your ex miss you instantly? ›

How To Make Your Ex Miss You After A Breakup
  1. Do Not Try To Contact Them. ...
  2. Do Not Receive Their Calls And Respond To Their Texts. ...
  3. Reinvent Yourself. ...
  4. Meet New People And Make New Friends. ...
  5. Talk To Their Friends. ...
  6. Check Out The Outside Dating World. ...
  7. Take A Vacation. ...
  8. Be Active On Social Media.
Dec 13, 2022

How often do exes get back together? ›

A study of 3,512 people found that only 15% got back together with their ex. Another 14% briefly reunited only to break up, and a whopping 70% called it quits for good after their break-up.

What should you not do to your ex? ›

So, before we act vulnerable after a breakup, check these 20 tips what not to do after a breakup.
  1. Don't contact your ex. ...
  2. Don't leave any communication open. ...
  3. Don't stalk their social media accounts. ...
  4. Don't remain friends on social media. ...
  5. Don't ask your mutual friends about your ex.
May 20, 2022

Does not talking to ex help? ›

And yet the single best way to accelerate the healing process after a breakup or divorce is this: Stop contact with the ex. If you are trying to recover from the end of a relationship, this advice may be difficult to accept.

How do I stop thinking about my ex during no contact? ›

  1. Distract yourself so you're literally too busy to even think about them. ...
  2. Establish some boundaries with yourself. ...
  3. Give yourself some time to feel sad, or mad, or angry, or literally whatever. ...
  4. Understand that you may still have lingering feelings for this person, and that's okay. ...
  5. Indulge in alllll the self care.
Mar 23, 2021

How do you stop yourself from missing your ex? ›

Consider the following strategies for how to not miss someone when you can't get over an ex:
  1. Think about the reasons ending the relationship was for the best. ...
  2. Don't hold your feelings inside. ...
  3. Take up journaling. ...
  4. Stay busy. ...
  5. Do not give in to the urge to call or text. ...
  6. Go out with friends. ...
  7. Focus on self-improvement.
Jun 23, 2021

Will silence make my ex miss me? ›

The simple answer to the above questions is yes. When you walk away and make him miss you, it's typical for a man to come back to you. The power of silence after a breakup is highly effective in making your partner come back. To start with, going silent after a breakup is a sign of confidence and self-esteem.

Should you message your ex to be friends? ›

Once you've ended things, it's better to wait a few days before reaching out with your platonic olive branch. Giving your ex some time to come to terms with the state of your relationship shows that you respect their needs and feelings.

Can you reach out to an ex to be friends? ›

Exes can make for good friends who know how to support, motivate, and care for you. However, each situation is unique. Don't rush into it, ask yourself what you want from the friendship, and make sure your ex stays in the past when it comes to your romantic future.

How do I reconnect after no contact? ›

Take the Conversation to a More Personal Medium

You should strive to get more and more personal with them. If you are just emailing them immediately after no contact, you want to be texting them after a couple of weeks. If you have been texting for a few weeks, you should be trying to get on a phone call.

How do you reconnect with someone you stopped talking to? ›

Here are nine tips for how to reconnect with an old friend after you've lost touch, according to experts.
  1. Send A Simple Text. ...
  2. Be Direct. ...
  3. If You Want To See Them, Actually Set Plans. ...
  4. Try Snail Mail. ...
  5. Talk To Them About Their Passions. ...
  6. Lean Into Your Shared Nostalgia. ...
  7. Laugh Together Like You Used To.
Apr 24, 2018

How do I tell my ex I want to be friends? ›

Tell him directly that you want to be friends.

Simply say, "I hope we can still be friends" or ask the question "We're still friends, right?" Don't leave this issue unaddressed - if you're vague about what you want from your new relationship, he might think you're trying to get back together with him.

How to make your ex miss you? ›

How To Make Your Ex Miss You After A Breakup
  1. Do Not Try To Contact Them. ...
  2. Do Not Receive Their Calls And Respond To Their Texts. ...
  3. Reinvent Yourself. ...
  4. Meet New People And Make New Friends. ...
  5. Talk To Their Friends. ...
  6. Check Out The Outside Dating World. ...
  7. Take A Vacation. ...
  8. Be Active On Social Media.
Dec 13, 2022


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